(Im)Patience

Impatience is a sign of lack of trust. A sign of fear. You don’t believe that guy in front of you on the traffic light will move, so you blow your horn. You don’t want to miss your opportunity for passing the intersection.

Imagine you are like that every day. Stressing over things you don’t control, fearing over outcomes and trying to manage everything, so it is “perfect”.

It is impossible to control every moving part of your life. And there is no need to do that.

You don’t have to wake up before the sun so that you pull it up above the horizon.

You don’t have to think about your body processing nutrients in order for you to be nourished.

Let Nature do its job.

Despite the fact we live in cities and we perform actions and jobs that seem removed from what the animals in the forest are doing, we are still governed by the same dynamics.

Nature is still a factor.

So what can you do?

Become a collaborative component and work with Nature, not against it. Then patience will be normal for you, as there is nothing to worry about. Nature is on it, and it will happen.

Calmness

Oftentimes we find ourselves impatient. We obsessively check our phones, emails and IM for that “urgent” response. We want to be always on, we want to be available and reactive because this feels live, feels important, feels like something is getting done.

But all this urgency and impatience does is slow things down. It inhibits our ability to look ahead, stops us from seeing the big picture.

Said in other words, impatience inhibits our growth.

What would happen if we get into the position of calm patience instead?

Focus will be deeper. Work will become meaningful. Actual impact could be created. Even more: the focus created by the calm and composure inside you will bring satisfaction from your actions.

Just as our primal lizard brain thrives in reactionary thinking, the other 80%, the newest parts of our brain, thrive in calmness, composure and focus.

Growth

Nothing happens all ag once. Yes, there are tipping points, but there was a build up happening before things “tipped” over.

Don’t expect to do big things. This is impossible.

Do small things that add up to something bigger, so that you create your own tipping point.

What is focus?

Focus is… focus? Focus is putting all of your eggs in one basket for a certain amount of time.

Focus is clarity. Being clear about what has to be done, what your direction is, your priorities.

This in turn makes everything linear and one dimensional. Way easier for our minds than multitasking, being bombarded with requests and thinking you have to respond to all of them at once.

Most of the time these requests are not from others. These are conflicting expectations that we impose on ourselves.

But back to focus.

How do you deal with the expectation of your attention so that you get to that zone, that focused, single-minded, one-dimensional space that lets your mind “breathe” and do its best?

Cutting.

Cut all of the expectations that make you feel bad.

If for a reason you think you can’t cut them out, this means they are either very important for you (then you wouldn’t have trouble having them) or they are stacked.

An expectation wrapped within an expectation based upon an expectation.

Simplify and untangle them until you can’t find uncertainty and lack of clarity in the reasoning.

This will explode one expectation into a dozen small ones. But then they are smaller and you can deal with them with ease. Unless you have to untangle again.

Still, when you get to the bottom of it, you’ll have only two choices left: to cut or to follow the expectation.

Cut or follow, there is no safe, self-torture-less middle ground.

Except maybe for meditation.